Just when I had my bah humbug up to epic levels, I get a huge dose of spirit...in the form of a patient. She came in for her test and had to have a two day protocol, meaning I got to spend two days with her. What a nut! She laughed at everything, talked to everyone, kept the conversation in the waiting room upbeat and positive and made us all laugh while we cared for her during her stay. She was 70 but looked 50, dressed in bright colors and had just gotten her hair cropped short to pre-empt the effect of chemo before it told her body what it would do to her. Take that muthafukka, her attitude screamed. Her son had died of a heart attack at 48, her husband was in a nursing home with alzheimer's and the daughter who came with her for her test was quiet, unsmiling, tentative. Worried. Worried she'd lose her Mom, who clearly, is the heartbeat of the family. But Mom never wavered, never once let on that there were forces inside her, claiming their right to take her life. For every ounce of cancer in her system was a pound of fierce, determined woman, strong and positive, thoroughly convinced of her own ability to beat the hell out of her disease with willpower and smiles. Her hips were aching every day from arthritis, so each time we called her back for another stage of her test, it would take her some time to struggle out of the chair and upright, slowly swinging one leg out, then left, then right, grimacing but joking about her old bones and their arguing with her about who was in charge. When she left us, she gave us each a hug, wished us happy holidays and blessings for life.
I walked back to my camera room after she left and thought about my struggles, my obstacles. I laughed at myself, shaking my head. Sent by a higher power, this angel reminded me that there is always someone with bigger troubles, maybe impossible to overcome, but the importance of using each moment we have to enjoy what we can, when we can, with whomever we can.
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